Random thoughts/quotes

I read a couple daily meditations/ bible verses/ spiritual teachings when I can. Why I do this could be another 50 posts, but let's stick to the point tonight. The book I currently love is written by Mark Nepo. His teaching for yesterday was pretty profound, so I thought I would share :

He is talking about staying committed to "your inner path," which, I think, is something that can easily get lost in the chaos that is life in this day and age! Mark goes on to say that...

"This means not separating from yourself when things get tough or confusing. This means accepting and embracing your faults and limitations. It means loving yourself no matter how others see you. It means cherishing the unchangeable radiance that lives within you, no matter the cuts and bruises along the way. It means binding your life with the solemn pledge to the truth of your soul." 

And he continues to say that caring for your soul is " interweaving the life of our spirit with the life of our psychologly; the life of our heart with the life of our mind; the life of our faith and truth with the life of our doubt and anxiety. Our humanness with our spirit"

Just what I needed to read today. Calm within the storm is sometimes closer than your realize. 

Vacation and life insanity

Vacation = major success. My cousin and I basically ate, drank, and played all week. It was incredibly relaxing and peaceful! It was a perfect little get a way!

Now, about two weeks and one work trip later (I was gone allll week last week in St. Louis!) I am playing a game of catch up! Hence, the short post!

Just wanted to shoot a quick update and say...

HAPPY WORLD DIABETES DAY!

(and by happy, I mean let's spread awareness and find a cure... that would = happy!)

So, go find your nearest diabetic and give them a hug! They go though a lot everyday, and they may just need a hug today (most likely). Or a trip to the nearest swing-set (yep, I did this today with a good friend!!!) Somehow on a swing, life seems to be more fun!

Packing: diabetes style

Traveling so much for work has made me super low maintenance. I used to be that girl that had 2 suitcases too many and was always cramming on more outfit in for good measure. "What if it's raining and I don't have the perfect rain boots to match my rain poncho" type. Not really that extreme, but you know what I mean. 

Now, I literally throw what every couple "work" outfits I put together (this I actually think about) and then some makeup, pjs, and workout clothes in my suitcase and call it a day. Sort of...

Now that I have become a totally different packing personality over the span of a year, I only have one super frustration when it comes to packing.... Diabetes!!! My free spirit, hippie side just wants to be able to pack nothing and be set for the week, but realistically, I have a high maintenance disease that definitely prevents that. 

For instance, I went to live in London for a summer to study writing through NYU's journalism program. This was right before senior year of college. I literally had one suitcase of clothes, and one of infusion sets, reservoirs, alcohol swabs, insulin, glucagon kits, batteries for pump, batteries for meter, back up meter, and everything else you could possibly think of. (makes me stressed out even THINKING of that time!!) months in a foreign country! Clearly, being 20, I didn't want to let diabetes prevent me from doing what I really wanted to do, so I went, suitcases and notebooks in hand! Turned out to be an awesome trip! But I digress...

Now, I am leaving tomorrow morning for a little week-long vacation to Arizona. Granted, this is not a 3 month long stay in London, but all the precautions have to be made. I have to be insanely organized and on top of things. I've been stressed out for weeks making sure I have ordered all the correct meds, so I don't run out of anything while I am there. If I am home and carelessly forget to order one of the 10 prescriptions I have to maintain and regularly order, I can go run to the doctor's office. This on top of my insane job, travel, account managing, order taking, workout schedule, diabetes maintenance (which has gone to crap since I an stressed). 300s every-night...guilt = tired megan. 

But! Once I hit the sun and 80 degree weather tomorrow, it will all be worth it! And I am totally sleeping on the plane...

INSPIRED!

wow, that was fast...

Wanted to leave some inspiration in the form of pictures!

I have been painting a lot lately and those pics will be up soon! (stay tuned!!!)
(credit to wehearit.com)
simple photo, but fall is here and I'm obsessed with the tought of living in a little cottage in the middle of nowhere, in fact, when I am driving in cornfields for work, I often pick out my little cottage, much like this pic!!)

found this on pinterest! How amazing!

Lifeclass!

So, it's been a while! For good reason, more on that later, but new blog and DOC (diabetes online community friends) have recently spurred me (hopefully) posting a lot more! Shout out to scott johnson for connecting everyone via facebook today! Check out his awesome blog @http://scottsdiabetes.com/ 

 Hi Cassie! Hi Meagan! :)

Life lately has been anything but focused on or about the 'betes, but that came to bite me in the ass about a week ago when my pump broke and I ended up in the 600s one night. Exhausting. This, following a week of travel that usually always reeks havoc on my sugar control. (any tips out there? besides a pain in the butt CGM??) With the crazy work schedule, it super hard to keep everything in balance! That's definitely my biggest challenge. Good thing I am learning to juggle. :) 

On the personal front, nothing could be better. I am not sure what all I want to throw out there, this is a diabetes blog, but who knows, maybe eventually I will delve back into personal and post-ED updates! All is well!

Has anyone seen/ been involved in Oprah's lifeclass. I know, I know.. most of my friends make fun of me, but it's totally rocking my world. Free therapy basically! No, it's really great! It's basically an hour every week night of life lessons by great people,  and also on her website there are interactive questions. Fridays are webcasts after the show (which really is the best part). Basically, it's awesome and I am learning A TON! 

I literally have filled out an entire moleskin notebook with thoughts brought about by thinking about the questions posed... if you haven't checked it out, I highly recommend it. I sort of feel like having a chronic illness makes me even more aware of myself and how other people feel (empathetic) and also, makes me want to make the most of myself. To be my best self, I know I have to always be growing. (I could go on forever, but anyways, check it out!) 

Here are a couple awesome questions posed on the site (oprah.com) Starting with the first night (last monday, Ego was talked about extensively) It was the best class yet : 

"What is the one thing that you most identify yourself with (your looks, your job, your family, etc.)? Who would you be if that were to disappear?"

She goes on to ask how your opinions of what other's think effect your daily choices and decisions. And then she went on to talk about how moving beyond or above the ego can make you align yourself with your "true self". Fascinating how much our ego's can get in the way, even when making simple decisions. It's a lot to think about, but you are not your ego, you are the awareness and separation of your true self from your ego. Fear is another topic covered extensively! How many times has fear stopped you from doing something? For me, the answer is a lot. Trying to be aware and change it. How different would the world be if people had no fear? And followed their crazy ideas through? With no fear of failing? Interesting stuff. 

I should leave you there! But more updates coming soon! Promise!

Oh favorite new songs : Kelly Clarkson (yeah, I know, but it's an awesome female empowerment song! " What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" 

D-friends, this is a break up song, but if you relate it to diabetes, it's an awesome message!

Have a good week! Im off to Arizona for a lil' R & R!

Meg

Connections and disconnections

Lately, frankly, I've been struggling. I just turned 24 last weekend, and I am feeling a little off.

Not to get into details, but it is what it is, I am getting the support I need and all will be well!

Any who, on the personal life front, I've been making some great connections! I just got off the phone with a doctor who owns his own behavioral health practice out west, and was very encouraging to me as I am slowly figuring out what I an drawn to do... Work with diabetics as a counselor, or something like that, who knows.

Work wise, my traveling schedule is about to pick up in a major way, starting tomorrow! I will be gone all week.

Which sort of brings me (not really) to my next point... Anonymity.

I just recently made the decision to take myself off Facebook.. Well at least ot visit it daily...hourly.. Etc. Facebook is such a cool tool to share things with friends, share pictures, and talk to relatives or distant friends. I've totally taken advantage of it my whole adult life and made and strengthened some great relationships via Facebook, but it also seems to create and provoke drama. Something I totally loved when I was younger... Even recently, but it's become a little too much. And frankly, I don't care what you did this morning, fascinating as all my "friends" lives are. Im happy with who I talk ton daily via phone, email, and text :) So, I still have my account, but I will just check it from time to time for now. Facebook is great for people like me who are easily inspired and whonfeed off of positive energy, but it also shows me how big some people's egos are! Are how it can spark competition and negativity is kind if silly.

Rant over :)

Since these next couple of months are promising to be kind of stressful I thought I'd post some of my favorite stress releiveing tips! Please share yours!

Walking my dog
Drinking tea..mint or green please!
Listening to music "quiet the mind" by zac brown band currently!
Collating!! My and my friend just starting doing this together! Its so fun and is a great creative outlet!
Take a fitness class... Yoga or kickboxing are my favorites!
Paint my nails... Usually hot pink or bright red
Write a blog or in a journal
Hang out with chill friends
Watch a movie
Light candles
Take pictures of something pretty
Color, yes color, find some crayons and tell me you don't love it
Naps!
Play (or try) to play guitar

Your turn!

Women, Food, and God

Sorry for the lack of posts! I clearly, as stated on my notebook, need to "get my shit together." 

With my job, the multi-tasking, joggling, travel, and crazy long hours sometimes, that phrase clearly need some TLC. I mean, I do the best I can, which is all I can ask of myself, but a vacation is definitely needed. 

This weekend is my 24th birthday, and I am taking off most of this week to do nothing other than shop, eat, relax, and workout, beach it, or do whatever the hell I want! woowoo! No work! Ok, this is getting journal-y... 

I come to a very interesting spot in my recovery. It is the spot of total and utter indecision and just general lack of much care. This is worry-some to my type A personality, but it also feels really good. And I think it is a necessary step, so let's ride this wave. Needless to say, these past couple of months have NOT been easy, but we all have little slips and times where you really just need to hold on for dear life. This, my friends, is one of those times. And I am finally able to post because I am reading the most amazing book and felt the need to share it. 

It's called "women, food and God." I think ALL girls should read this book honestly. I think a majority of my friends struggle in some capacity with food or exercise or drinking or smoking or whatever your "vices" are. This book is super straightforward (totally my kinda read) and very very thought provoking. It's helpful in times like this, for me, to pull myself out of whatever struggle is on the radar at the time. 

Here is a great quote maybe halfway through the book when she is talking about "letting go" and being who you were meant to be. Accepting that you don't have to fight if you really look into your heart, intuition, look to God, and just let everything be. Without controlling or needing to "fix" it. Without trying to manipulate anything, just look at yourself for who you are, being okay with it, loving it, and basically live and let live! STOP THE FIGHT! just stop. 

Here is the quote she says, when you stop the fight, " It feels like the essence of tenderness, compassion, joy, peace. Like love itself. And in the moment you feel it when you recognize that you ARE it and that you've been here all along, waiting for your return. When you forget, like you always do, you suddenly understand that kindness to anyone- a plant, an animal, a stranger, a partner- brings you closer to this. Taking care of your body is taking care of this. That taking care of the earth is taking care of this... You returning to yourself. And that hell is nothing more than leaving this. Heaven is already here on earth."

(Roth pg. 75)

So well put! Any in recovery this was definitely something I think would have been a great push! I worked for years to really make sure I was inspired daily and worked SO hard at getting through, and now I am at the point where as terrifying as it is, soon I will be able to release and be. I feel like I get glimpses of this often, which is everything I can hope for right now. Living in love, being around awesome people and leaving those behind that don't feel right, even though your heart can sometime lead you that way.

Until next time.... Live in Love

xo 

Me!